So last night, I met the prince at a ball. I don't even know what ball it was or how I got there. But anyway, he was real hot and I just decided to jump into bed with him but we had to leave by midnight. I heard that if you have sex and snort crack at the same time you will have twins. I mean, come on, it sounds like fun!

Oops. Apparently now I am pregnant and I lost my glass pipe. I think I left that thing at the ball. But yeah, it could be his baby. I will just tell him it's his cause it sounds fun and I will get all his money, if I play my cards right. Oh thank god I wore my bright orange lipstick at the ball. Who ever finds my pipe will know its mine cause only the highest paid crack whores can wear that color.

Talking about money, I have to stop by my fairy godmothers house and pick up some fairy dust up for my baby and me. My stash is running a little low.